i just got my 4th treatment, and let me tell you. this shit works wonders.
i had an impromptu colonoscopy on june 4th (yes on my bday, what a gift!), right after i got my 3rd treatment. and the best thing about it was the real present i got. the results said my bowel's mucous membrane is 100% healed up and there are no signs of ulcers left, only small scars that are healing up. seriously, this was the best birthday gift i could have ever hoped for. there was still an obstacle which i had to tackle, a nasty infection caused by the bacteria that's called Clostridium Difficile. the doctors told me - and i experienced it first hand - that it's hard to get rid of since it's in most everyone's intestines and it always finds a way back after antibiotic treatments. so i had it for almost a year, it was probably the cause of my inflammation in winter too.
so after several treatments as it always returned, my doc finally came up with the fecal transplantation. yes you read right. i literally got shit to cure me. and the weirdest thing? i dont know if it working or having to get it through a probe up my nose and all the way down to my small intestines is the weirdest thing about all this. i got the stuff from my brother so of course you can imagine how the "i'll shit down your throat" and "was my crap tasty" and "behold my magic shit" jokes were neverending.
but hey, at least it worked, right??? :'D
so FINALLY. im out of the deep water. was about fuckin time. now only one question remains: what do?
i was looking for things to study still, but i soon realised i dont really want all that stress about completing shit on time, exams and all that bullshit. besides, i dont want to spend any more time in my country than is really necessary. i need to stay until march and then for some more months: until my treatment is done and then to see if things remain stable. so right now all i need is a job so i can finally break free from my family's clutches.
see, it's not that i dont appreciate them helping me, even if they think so, it's more about i dont want to have to explain my decisions and thoughts to anyone anymore. i'm sick and tired of depending on people, i want to be my own person. and if i fuck up, then so be it, at least they will be far away from me with their judging eyes. i know i'll never be good enough for any of them whatever i may do. i just want to escape from this toxic environment, for the good of my sanity AND my bowel's health...
thankfully i have found just the perfect escape who came in the form of my wonderful boyfriend. we have spent a lovely week together as he came to visit me all the way from england. and yes, i do plan to move to him later on, but also to visit him before that. and of course, for all this i need money.
but haven't found a job. AHAHHAHAHAHA.
so yeah i MAY be in need for some, so i guess im gonna open commissions... and holy shit i do know i need some stuff to do before that, like.... ACTUALLY GETTING BACK INTO DRAWING CAUSE HOLY HELL I HAVENT TOUCHED MY TABLET IN AT LEAST 6 MONTHS
so uhm yeah... >>;;;;
i guess that's it. ._.
im glad im finally back, i'll try to be active on here again especially by submitting drawings
ahahah bear with me pls